i care more about the speed of my internet than the direction of my life
shouldnt have had that second cupcake i moaned as i reached for my ninth
do you ever rip off a piece of your lip with your teeth and swallow it and realize you just ate yourself
*mom voice* it’s because you’re on your laptop all the time
When your parents call and say they’ll be home soon
so i walked into my brother’s room he was asleep and i knocked something over and he said “if you’re a ghost or some shit please fuck off im too tired for this”
if we mutually follow each other
you’re welcome to ask for my skype or my number or my facebook or whatever
First born child, you know… anything. Anything you need.
A kidney, my house keys, a picture of my armpit.
But never my food
Definitely not my food.
I am still thinking about this
Actually, the fruit of a tree is technically a reproductive organ, since it holds the tree’s seeds and all.
So, it wouldnt be cannabalism, you’d kinda be feeding them their own semen.
HELP I CAN’T BREATHE
F is for friends who don’t talk to you. U is for Ur alone. N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
how to watch anime:
- start episode
- pause 10 mins in
- do other stuff for half an hour
- watch the rest
YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST
JEANS WITH FAKE POCKETS
Baby Inuyasha kills me every time.
nombre means name in spanish but it means number in french
“what’s your nombre?”
was I making light conversation in spanish
or was I hitting on you in French